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Archive through January 09, 2003

Hitguj » Views and Comments » Relationships » नवरा, बायको, संसार, तडजोड इ. » आंतरजातिय / प्रांतिय / धर्मिय विवाह » Archive through January 09, 2003 « Previous Next »

Rshubha
Tuesday, January 07, 2003 - 6:13 am:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

maaJyaa pahNyaat AXaI Anaok jaÜDpI Aahot maaJyaa kuTUMbaatca 8 AaiNa ima~maMDLIt AnaokÊ AgadI maarvaaDI jaOna - kanaDIÊ pMjaabaI - taimaLÊ kaiXmarI - marazI vagaOro. %yaatlao f> ekca AyaXasvaI zrlao ³dÜGaohI marazI´ AaiNa %yaacao karNa jaatI­jaatItIla frk ho na@kIca navhto.
malaa Asao vaaTto kI iBaÙa samaajaatUna AalyaamauLo vaogaLopNaacaI jaaNaIva Asato. %yaamaULo vaad sau$ hÜNyaaAaQaI inadana ekmaokaMnaa samajaavaUna GyaayaacaI payarI vagaLUna TaklaI jaat naahI. tsaoca [tr laÜk Apoxaa krtat hI ho kahI iTkNaar naahI. maga to ek dare hÜtoÊ daKvaUca tumhalaa mhNaUna. ervaI Aaš - vaiDlaaMnaa mhNata yaoto tumhI saaMigatlatÊ Aata tumhIca inastra.
kahI ÉZI maÜDNao saÜpo jaato. maaJyaa navaáyaacyaa jaatIt KUp huMDa GaoNyaacaI pQdt Aaho. pNa jaatIbaahor lagna kolyaanao ho saasarcyaaMnaa ho isvakarNao ³inadana [traMnaa saaMgaayalaa karNa mhNauna ka hÜ[naa´ qaÜDo saÜpo gaolao.
sagL\yaat maÜza fayada mhNajao maaJao saasaUXaI BaaMDNa hÜ]ca Xakt naahI. karNa AamhI navaáyaacyaa madtIiXavaaya ekmaokaMXaI baÜlaU Xakt naahI :-)

Yogibear
Tuesday, January 07, 2003 - 1:48 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

Rshubha: shevaTache vakya satya asale tari hey tu majet lihile ashil ashi aashaa aahe!!! tya vaakyache barech vegaLe artha nighataat....

Maitreyee
Tuesday, January 07, 2003 - 3:13 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

vaogaLo Aqa- ksalao ro Æ BaaYaocaa p`Xna AsalyaamauLo BaaMDNa hÜNaar ksao evaZaca ek p`Xna Aaho . .. hÜ naa XauBaa²² anyway, XauBaanao kahI navao AaiNa caaMgalao mau_o maaMDlaot.

Yogibear
Tuesday, January 07, 2003 - 3:26 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

Maitreyee: tu prashna vicharlaas mhaNun uttar detoy.

tya vakyacha arthaa asaa hou shakto ki sasu sunan madhe bhanDanaa vyatirikta kuThalech nate nasate kaa! doghan madhe bhashya na hoNe hey changale kaa vaait? etc ase barech mudde yeu shaktaat....anyways teh vishayanter hoil...:-)


Rshubha
Tuesday, January 07, 2003 - 5:55 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

yaÜgaIÊ tuJao mhNaNao barÜbar Aaho. maI mhTlao Aaho kI Aamacao BaaMDNa hÜ] Xakt naahI. Aamacaa ekmaokaMXaI saMbaMQa naahI Asao naahI. ]laT malaa nausato gaÜD baÜlaUna caalaNar naahIÊ tr caaMgalao mat imaLvaNyaasaazI kahItrI kama k$na daKvaNao Baaga Aaho :-( ho tÜT\yaaMcyaa yaadIt Takayacao ka ? :-)
gamatItca mhTlao Aaho. kQaItrI kahI gaÜYTI tumacyaapya-Mt pÜhÜcatatcaÊ tumacyaa jaÜiDdarakDuna mhNaaÊ samaBaaiYak XaojaaáyaaMkDuna mhNaa. pNa tumhalaa vaoL imaLtÜ ivacaar krayalaa kI yaavar vaad GaalaNyaa]tka maÜza mau_a Aaho kaÆ maaJao svatÁcao mat Aaho kI vaad GaalaUna kahIca saaQya hÜt naahI. tumhalaa Kroca pTt AsaolaÊ tr k$na maÜkLo vhavao :-)

Ajjuka
Wednesday, January 08, 2003 - 6:17 am:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

bhinna parameters madhil lokanchi ekamekanshi lagne vhavit tyamule jativyavastha break vhayala madat hote kinwa tatsam goshtivar maza vishwas nahi rather ya karanavar... ashi lagne zali tar walls break hotat pan antarjateeya kinwa prantiya kinwa jaun kahi ashya lagnacha to hetu asu naye. don vyaktinni samanjasapane vichar karun ghetlela nirnay asava na ki aaplya lagnane apan samajat kranti ghadavun aanu jatibhed nashta karu etc asa sur nasava. nahitar mag tya lagnacha paya faar dalamalit rahato.
yacha arth mi antaraateeya vivahala anukul nahi ase mulich nahi.. asuch shakat nahi mi swata antarjaateeya vivah kela aahe. its too early to talk abt success or failure of my marriage.
varacha ek mudda patala ki samajik, arthik strata baghun mag kelelya lagnamadhe navin sunela kami adjustments karavya lagatat. jad jat nahi. sadashiv pethi brahmani gharat vadhalelya mala lagnantar purna kalpana asunahi ravivari gharat honarya macchhichya vasane kasese hote. yat konala kami mananyacha prakar nahi kinwa takrar hi nahiye pan purna vivcharanti ghetlela nirnay asunahi ashya ekhadya veli jara chalbichal hote itkech. pan ya tashya chhotya goshti aahet karan mi gharat farashi nastech... (sakali 8 te ratri 1-2 normally baher aste).
anyways.. basically lagne hi ashi catagorise keli jau nayet rather antar____ ashya langanche samajchya drushtine mahatva asle tari keval tyasathi protsahan ha prakar karmath panamule mixing la virodh karanyaitkach hasyaspad vatato mala. lagna hi khajagi baab aste ani to nirnay don vyakti kinwa don kutumbe yanni ghyayacha asto mag tyache samajik mol kahihi asle/nasle tari.

Upashiboka
Wednesday, January 08, 2003 - 2:46 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

Ajjuka, I agree with you 100%.

Rshubha
Wednesday, January 08, 2003 - 3:22 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

I agree with it too. But I think nobody really answered my question. While most of you have openly opposed inter___ marraiges for the sake of cause, nobody remarked on whether caste needs to be the first filter in arranged marriages. Any takers ?

Rajasee
Wednesday, January 08, 2003 - 3:37 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

shubha, people who have opposed the concept of Inter------ (especially caste) marriages, those people absolutely want caste as a prime filter. Isn't it obviously implied??

Yogibear
Wednesday, January 08, 2003 - 4:00 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

Rshubha: trying to show possible answer to ur question....

Generally vivaah mhaNale ki barech prashna samor yetaat, especially chaali riti, vaagaNe, expectations, vagaire. tevhaa arrange marriage madhe u will always prefer to find a person whose info is available or can be atleast found out through some sources which can happen if the person is from same cast/region. region ashya saathi mhaNale karan tumchyach jawal rahaNaari vyakti asel ter mahiti miLane soppe asate, cast ashyaa saathi karaN jatit generally mahiti miLu shakte. People try to prefer cast karan savayee same astaat, rahaNi maan sarkhe asNyaachi shakyataa jashta aste va tyaach pramaaNe vichar sarNI kaahi aunshi sarkhich asu shakte.

Anter-jaatiy/prantiy/dharmiy vivaah he mostly LOVE marriages madhe aadhaLataat karan ppl r ready to give up alot in order to be with their loved ones. We cannot difinitely say ki inter-cast/religion/region can prove to be more effective than usual ways, can we???

Weldoda
Wednesday, January 08, 2003 - 4:18 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

kahihi mhana..pan halu halu aplya kade suddha mukta vicharanche ware wahu lagler aahet..ani jase jase globalisation hoil tase tase satichya pratha..kiwa hunda bali..grahan na baghne kiwa itar tatsam rudhi sarkhech jaat-paatiche khuL suddha laukarach lop pavel yaat shanka naahii..jaat paat sodun itar anek mullyancha nikash laun vivah tharavile jatil pan tya sathi samajaas hya mental block madhun baher padnyas thoda awadhi milne garjeche aahe.

Weldoda
Wednesday, January 08, 2003 - 4:21 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

yogi..tujhe caste madhe 'sawai..rahanimaan.. same asatat' he mhanne patat nahi..
caste madhe kahi rituals vidhi sodun...sawai..rahanimaan...ani vicharsarani ekchhh asel ase thaam paNe mhanta yenar naahi!


Thepunekar
Wednesday, January 08, 2003 - 6:14 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

nauktaca eka cacao-maQao haca ivaYaya inaGaalaa hÜta. maJyaa eka maOi~NaInao ek p`Xna ]pisqat kolaa tÜ AsaaÁ

mad`asaI maulagaI Ana baMgaalaI maulagaa Asao jar ek~ Aalao hOdrabaadcyaa eka software firm maQaoÊ Ana jar to itqaoca settle hÜNaar AsalaoÊ tr %yaaMcyaa maulaaMnaI kÜNatI BaaYaa iXakavaIÊ %yaaMcao iXaxaNa kÜNa%yaa BaaYaot vhavaoÆ


Weldoda
Wednesday, January 08, 2003 - 6:23 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

ha p`Xna Aqaa-t parspr samanajasyaatuna Êcacao- tuna AaNaI ta%kailak pirisqanausaar saÜDivalaa jaa} XaktÜ..
dÜGaohI software maQao AsatIla tr English maaQyamaatuna iXakNao caaMgalao..



Rshubha
Wednesday, January 08, 2003 - 7:11 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

Rajasee, No, I don't think one can generalise that way. there is lot of no man's land between proposing something and opposing something (whether we use should/could/might or shouldn't/couldn't/may not). I just browsed in hitguj matrimonials. I found 4 that insisted on matching at the sub-caste level, 12 would like to match on caste level; while 17 thought it was irrelevant. So most probably it is a non-issue ! few felt that matching language is important, while for some it was religion.

I have raised the question about arranged marriages, because if I have not lost touch with reality, still 80-90% of marriages happen this way. There are so many things that one looks for (though yogi hasn't mentioned these :-)). I think the primary criteria are still (sub)caste, economic strata, education, height, region etc etc. Now let's see how these traits are treated. if the caste does not match, we don't even look at the other factors on our list. For others, it more like matching the horoscope where we state how many points match and then look for eligibility of match like the traits stated in yogi's posting AacaarÊ ivacaarÊ ivahar [.
All I want to know is what will be the effect if we have caste as one of the points to be matched, instead of all important criteria by itself. Won't it make it increase the probability for all those people who chose their partners out of their community to have found them even through the regular channel ? It actually makes sense, because it'll enhance the arranged marriage system to be more attractive. For all said and done, arranged marriage still carries a safty-net with it as there are more people involved and agreeing upfront to make this match successful.
I am anticipating that I'd probably get the most convinient reply on hitguj: It's a personal choice. If you come to same conclusion, I'll be thankful if you also state what is that personal choice for you.

thepunekar, tumacaa p`Xna kui%sat nasaUna inaragasa Aaho Asao samajaUna ]<ar doto. :-) malaa Asao kuTuMba maaiht Aaho kI ijaqao Aaš tolaugaUÊ vaiDla marazI AaiNa maulao gaujaraqa maQao vaaZlaI mhNauna ekmaokaMXaI baÜlatanaa gaujaraqaI vaaprtat

Dalchini
Wednesday, January 08, 2003 - 8:39 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

Shubha, I have discussed this issue with some people to whom I came across over the period of time. What one guy told me that he himself ( beind a Hindu) has no problem in getting married to Muslim girl b'coz he was saying that their children will be of Hindu background and after marriage wife has to convert to husband's caste, religion so eventually wife will also be Hindu.

But he abused Hindu girls for getting married to Muslim boys or Inter ____ marriage b'coz of the same point.

Weldoda
Wednesday, January 08, 2003 - 8:59 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

do values, ethics, beliefs and principles really change just by 'transfering' from one caste to another by some 2 hours rituals or is this just a public show??

Yogibear
Wednesday, January 08, 2003 - 9:03 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

Weldi: it may be a public show but the person who goes thru it has to follow that public show for life....changing personality at times...

Rshubha
Wednesday, January 08, 2003 - 9:05 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

highly valid point, dalchini. I hope, he would understand that a muslim boy would feel the same way too; no problem for marrying a hindu girl as long as no muslim girl marries into other religion. (Does it still mean wife/children belong to "lord of the house" :-) just kidding!)
personally I'd feel that no coversion is necessary either way. Unless there is an acceptance of your partner's background, how can your partnership be successful ? :-( I also know a family where father is hindu, mother christian and son-in-law is muslim (from interior maharashtra). This is quite common in thailand, where children decide their religion when they come of age.

Dalchini
Wednesday, January 08, 2003 - 9:24 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

weldi, yogibear has given you the perfect answer so no need of me answering to you. wife has to change her way of life for that one-two hour public show. You will not understand it properly mhNatat naa jaavao %yaaMcyaa janmaa tovha kLo... (and its no kidding)

shubha : (Does it still mean wife/children belong to "lord of the house" just kidding!)>>> whether you agree or not once u get married u have to have follow husband's way of life whatever may be the reason. If Indian wives stopped following the Husbands foot-prints (here please consider caste, religion etc) then there is no time remaining that the Indian society and culture will be as "American culture" likeBarkTlaolao ta$

Rajasee
Wednesday, January 08, 2003 - 9:46 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

I just browsed in hitguj matrimonials. I found 4 that insisted on matching at the sub-caste level, 12 would like to match on caste level; while 17 thought it was irrelevant. So most probably it is a non-issue ! few felt that matching language is important, while for some it was religion.>>>

yaa naoTvarcyaa matrimony maQyao jyaa maulaaMnaI ilaihlao Aaho strict about sub-caste and caste toca Ô> lagna seriously Gaotyaot baakIcyaa maulaaMnaa nausta pass-time, chating krayacaa Aaho Aamacyaa kahI ATI naaiht Asao mhNat. jaovha KrÜKr gaÜYTI serious hÜtIla tovha Aa[vaidlaMcyaa naavaKlaI payaat XaopUT GaalaUna pLtIla. naoTvarcyaa matrimonials naa kahI Aqa- nasatÜ karNa itqao maulaa svatÁcao svatÁ paihlyaacaa Aava AaNatt. jyaa matrimonials maQao palakaMcaa sahBaaga Aaho Asao iktI matrimonials mhNatat kI Aamhala AaMtr jaaityaÊ p`aMtIya ikMvaa Qaima-ya saUna caalaola.

Aajakala ba`amhna maulaamaulaIMcao Aa[­vaiDla CKP/GSB laa tyaar hÜtat pNa 25 vyaa vaYaI- naahI maulagaa­maulagaI GaÜDnavaraÊ GaÜDnavarI Jaalyaavar hI saVisqatI Aaho.

CKP/GSB (a jaatI Ô> ]dahrNaadaKla Gaotlyaa AahotÊ kÜNaacyaahI jaatIya Baavanaa duKavaNyaacaa hotU naahI. tirhI Baavanaa duKavalyaasa xamasvaÁ


Weldoda
Wednesday, January 08, 2003 - 9:53 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

but the person who goes thru it has to follow that public show for life....changing personality at times...>>>>>ajunhi kiti diwas apan karma kandawar vishwas thevanar aahot...wadildharya mansanche jau det...pan shikaleli tarun mule suddha ase mhanu lagli ahet yache sakhed asharrya watate..
aahe tya paristhitis tumhi nidhadya chhatine samore nahi jau shakat???tya sathi karma kanda mage lapnyachi garajch kaay??ani samajasathi kartoy ase mhanun swatache kiti diwas samadhan karun ghenar ahot apan???samorcha kartoy mhanun apan karayche yaala kahi arth aahe kaa?loka kay 2-4 taas yeun ubhe rahatil..2-4 mahine laxat thevtil..warshabharat visarun hi jaatil...shevati pratyekaala pratyekaache vyaap ahetch..tyanchya saaathi apan aapali jivan mulya sodaychi??dharmabadalnyachya karma kandatun jaayche??aapli personality badalaychi??
shevti kadhi na kadhi kona na konaas ya virduhha ladha pukaarlaach paahije..shashtra ugaarlech paahije...samaj sudharnya sathi aplya pasunch surwat keli paahije


Yogibear
Wednesday, January 08, 2003 - 10:09 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

Weldi: "samaj sudharnya sathi aplya pasunch surwat keli paahije " <<< I agree with you to certain extent paN after all its Q of Life time, will u take such a risk of "arrange marriage"???

I doubt anybody would even bother to go thru whole thing unless he loves someone of other cast/religion/region/etc. Shevati marriage haa kheL nahiye aani samaj sudharaNar aasal ter lagna utter Tharu shakel kaa!!!! though there will be exceptions to this....

Rshubha
Wednesday, January 08, 2003 - 10:26 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

yogi, your posting seems to indicate that whatever is the risk of arranged marriage, it may increase arithmatically, geometrically or exponentially if we just add a factor of caste. I would like to know the reasons behind such feeling.

Asami
Wednesday, January 08, 2003 - 10:34 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

XauBaaÊ caste ha filter pihlaa laavalaa ik var yaÜgaInao mhTlaolyaa bayaa-ca gaÜYTI saahijakpNao filter hÜtat AXaI AaplaI maanaisak baOzk Aaho AaNaI %yaamaULoca caste ha criteria p`qama laavalaa jaatÜ.
kalaanau$p ho jarI badlat Asalao trI ekaca caste maQaIla laÜkaMcao thinking process Ê caalaI irtIÊ ÉZI pwtI saar#yaa AsaNyaacaI saMQaI jaastI Aaho hI sa%ya pirisqatI Aaho. jasaa jasaa kaL badlat jaa[la tsao caste caI jaagaa AjaUna kaihtrI gaÜYT ³ say X) gheil. udyaa asach tujhI aaNI maajhI mule ithe lagnaamadhe x caa filter laavaavaa ka (var vaad Galat AsatIla :-)

Prafull
Wednesday, January 08, 2003 - 10:51 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

Asamya, lagnamadhe "opposite ••• " cha filter asava ka asa vaad asel to. 100% :-)



Yogibear
Wednesday, January 08, 2003 - 11:10 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

Asami: perfect uttar diles...baaki last line was sahi....

Rshubha: I guess Asami answered ur Q quite appropriately.

Thepunekar
Wednesday, January 08, 2003 - 11:48 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

rshubha,
p`Xna kui%sat pNao ivacaarlaolaa navhta. nauktaca (a BB cyaaca ivaXayaavar maaJyaa ima~maMDLat ek jaÜrdar e- saMvaad Jaalaa hÜta AaiNa Aaja [qao AalaÜ tr itqalaa ek ivacaaraMnaa caalanaa doNaara p`Xna [qao ivacaaravaasaa vaaTlaa mhNaUna ivacaarlaa. Aamacyaa cacao-t trI [tr Anaok p`XnaaMvar saaQaarNa ekmat Jaalao hÜtoÊ pNa (avar farca Kla hÜ]nahI jaastI kahI hatI laagalao navhtoÊ maa~ cacao-cao [tr Anaok pOlaU maa~ samaÜr Aalao hÜto. we shot off into some very interesting threads of discussion from that point.

Rshubha
Thursday, January 09, 2003 - 1:22 am:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

baro vaaTlao tumacao posting vaacaUna. mauLat tumhI tumhalaa yaot AsalaolaIca BaaYaa iXakvau Xakta. karNa lahana maulao tumhI baÜlata to eokUna iXaktat. AapNa kahI %yaaMnaa puZo basavaUna ica~aMkDo baÜT daKvaUna iXakvaNyaacaa kahI far ]pyaÜga hÜt naahI. doctor cyaa matap`maaNao saurvaaitlaa maulaalaa ekaca BaaYaolaa expose krNao caaMgalao. ekda eka BaaYaot fluency AalaI kI to puZo iktIhI BaaYaa Aa%masaat k$ Xakto

AasaamaIÊ maulaacyaa maagao ka dDtÜ Aahosa Æ :-) tuJaa maulagaa vaad kXaalaa Gaalaola. tuJyaa savaaš AsaNaar tÜÊ nasalaolyaa naatvaakDo baÜT daKvaola :-) AaiNa jara tuJyaa yaadItlyaa gaÜYTI saaMga naaÊ malaa ]majaayalaa vaoL laagatÜ. ´

p`ÔulaÊ tumhI age ivasarlaat kI hÜ
You know, I am really disappointed. I am not asking anybody to change. i am just seeking the reasons behind the taboo and the impact if it is broken So far, I have only got maanaisak baOzk . It's like brahmins telling anadibai that crossing the sea is bad, because it was current belief then. pathetic, at least you can come up with something more imaginative, forceful stuff :-)
mhNajao Aaplyaalaa vaogaL\yaa jaatItlaa XaojaarI caalatÜÊ co-worker caalatÜÊ ijavalaga ima~­maOi~Na caalato pNa jaIvanasaaqaIÊ naahI bauAa. barÜbar izkaNaI roGa maarlaI ka maI Æ

rajasaIÊ kahI kaya AarÜp krtosa ibacaaáyaa maulaaMvar. AamhI nasato bauAa eokUna Gaotlao :-)

ppls, see here a good reason. when you ask a match within your sub-caste, others feel that your matrimonial is sincere.

Ajjuka
Thursday, January 09, 2003 - 4:03 am:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

love marriage madhehi filter work hot nahit he khi mala manya nahi. caste, arthik strata kinwa tatsam typical sthal oriented filter nasel hot kadachit pan manasikata, career, aavadinivadi, svabhav ya sagalya goshtinche filter wokr hotatach na samajun umajun kelelya love marriage madhe.
well everybody goes for some kind of similarity (suggest me a better word!). kuthetari ekatanata havi tarach lagnane manus sukhi vhayache chances astat. pratyakshat kay ghadel ha bhag vegala. mi mazech udaharan parat dete. mala swatala artistic mindset chich vyakti havi hoti navara mhanun. tasa mala to milala. pan arthatach mala ji mule in general ayushyat bhetayachi tyatli faar thodi kvaciht appeal vhayachi... I think this was a filter that was working in my mind at the background. aso..
yacha arth asa mulich nave ki caste ha filter lavane yogya aahe. pan aajahi arrange marriage madhe khup rare families aahet ki jyanna caste hi goshta mahatvachi vatat nahi. mazya mahitit ek udaharan aahe. mothya muliche lagna baghatana mulaga kamavata asava ni susvabhavi asava evadhich at hoti caste kuthlihi chalel ase tyanchya sthalachya discription madhe lihile hote. she is married to a guy from different caste, tila 5-6 varshacha mulaga hi aahe. they are happy. pan he rare aahe yache karan ektar aaivadilanna paramparechya baher jane etc ya goshticha bau vatat asava. plus same caste = similar home culture ase ek gruhitak aslyane aaivadilanna va kvachit mulinnahi to safer gamble vatat asava. nahitar 15-20 min hcya bhetivar lagnache nirnay ghetana kuthetari secuirty chi jaaneev havich na mag it kiti khari kiti khoti ha vadacha mudda aahe.

Kaukhan
Thursday, January 09, 2003 - 4:10 am:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

Rajasee, I care two hoots about caste and religion wrt marriage. If I were single, I, too, would have posted an ad saying "caste, religion immaterial". My parents have always let me be the master of my life since 5th std and so they would not be involved in my ad in any way. Would you then dismiss me as "this fellow wants to just chat, time-pass" etc. ? If the answer is yes then I must note this as a very sorry state of affairs. If my reading of your thoughts is wrong then I would like to stand corrected.

Agree with the ghodnavra/ri bit.

Rajasee
Thursday, January 09, 2003 - 4:59 am:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

Kaukhan, here I am not talking about a single person in particular, I am talking about public in general. See what I am trying to say is one (or less) out of 100% is sincere, otherwise they want their would be wife to be friend first means it includes chatting, mailing etc pass-time stuff so for passing time they does not bother whether the girl is from similar caste or other castes.

And it was my reply to shubha for her example of net-matrimonials and from that very insufficient data she tries to form a rule that the mentality of the people is changing.

naoTvar ilahayalaa kaya hÜ AamhI kaihih ilahU p`%yaxaat naoTvar ad kolyaap`maNao iktI laÜk AaMtiva-vaah krtatÊ to hI tpsaUna phayala nakÜ kaÆ

Yogibear
Thursday, January 09, 2003 - 2:06 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

Rshubha: var mention kele aahes ki "Aaplyaalaa vegaLyaa jaatItlaa shejaari chalato, co-worker chaalato, jivalag mitra-maitriN chalate paN jeevan-saathi naahI bauAa."

mitra, co-werker, shejari do not share our life 24/7, do not sleep in my own bed, r not physically present with me max time, their actions with regards to a decision do not necessarily impact my life and above all they r not part of my 'core' family. So can we really make a valid comparison???

e.g.
1.(an extreme case) Say ur co-worker is going thru aids or any serious desease, do u think the person will honestly tell you???

2.your close friend haveing some serious family issues, unless he is ur best friend u wont even know that person is having some probs, Isnt it!!!


Rshubha
Thursday, January 09, 2003 - 3:15 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

rajasee, sorry if I have hurt your feelings. I wasn't try to form a rule. I am not claiming that data is sufficient either. I was just amused to find the sentiments expressed on this BB differed so much from the statistics I found on the same site.

yogibear, looks like you agree that my line of demarcation agrees with the caste tolerance found currently in society. My, certainly you can't help it, if AIDS is so predominantly found in all other castes, except yours. :-(

Prafull
Thursday, January 09, 2003 - 3:20 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

>>>, otherwise they want their would be wife to be friend first means it includes chatting, mailing etc

Hello, Guys / Gals who are not partiular abt caste or sometimes religion are obviously more openminded than typical "arranged marriage" candidates who decide abt their partner on a KP program. So isnt it obvious that these people would like their would be wife to be a friend first??

btw please check out some of that stats of these internet matrimonials. Its a serious business. Nobody enjoys paid GTP, right?:-)
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