|
Namaskar. I have been in the US for the past 5 years. I have one son who is 2 years old. Life is very comfortable (so to speak) at the moment with the great jobs, $ earnings, house, comforts, freedom of speech, dress, thoughts etc.... tarihi mi jashi Indiat vaadhale (chaalat shaalet jaane, pudhe cycle, mag TVS, Kinetic Honda etc etc)... dhadpadne/ radane, the competitive atmosphere at school colleges, etc etc I think is very important and forms the base of one's life. US madhe everything comes easily to everyone right from childhood... tyamule dhadpadun ekhadi goshta milavne ani ti milaali ki tyaachi kimmat kalne... haa prakaar faarach kami. Schools are like mere playgrounds/fun places to be...unlike India where one would slog for unit tests, terminal exams, final exams etc,,, lots of homework and then the ranking... it all does matter and make a big difference...
Mag hyaa saglyaatun maajhyahi mulane jaave ase malaa faar vatate, pan US madhun paay nighat naahi. Maajhyasarakhe itarhi aahet kaa ? Mag te kontyaa nirnayaavar aale ani kaa ? Please share your thoughts. It will be very helpful for me.
|
Yogibear
| |
| | Monday, August 19, 2002 - 3:56 pm: | 
| 
|
SwatiP: very nice topic....
"Grass is always green on other side" hyaach mhaani pramaane US madhe kiMbahuna shikshaNa yevdhech mahatvaa other activities naa dile jaate hya Ulaat bharataat shikshan mhanaje sarwaswa aahe. No doubt bharataat shiklele mul kadachit jagaat kuthehi aani khara ter baryach thikaani baryaach varchya sthraanver adhaLtaat jyaache mul karan aapalyaala lahan paNapasun taLmaLine kaam karnyachi vrutti aani pathanter, ghokampatti vagaire sarkhe prakaar aapalya raktaat rujlele astaat, kadachit tyamule ethaalya mulanpekshaa aapan shikshanaat nehemich pudhe chamatko pun maag what about other activities? aapan as a bharatiya barech maage sudhaa padto naa! Ek matra khara ki cultural difference matters alot for upbringing of a child especially things like morally strong asne, strong values asane vagaire....hya goshti ithee farach weak janavtaat wheeras aapalyaala kade they r very strong due society and cultural traditions. Arthaat every coin has 2 sides so decision making part is very crucial.....in terms of do u want to live easy materialistic life or go back and live social life with lot of problems....I guess we have to make the choice....
|
Boss
| |
| | Monday, August 19, 2002 - 5:19 pm: |
|
|
yaÜgaI..
qaÜDo ivaYayaaMtr. pNa nauk%yaaca (a ivaYayaavarIla ek vaogaLo mat eokayalaa imaLalao.
Baartat maulaaMnaaÊ tÉNa ipZIlaa krNyaasaarKo kahI ivaYaoXa nasalyaanao ikvaa inaXcaIt Qyaoya nasalyaanao
Ô> iXakt rhaNao haca ek maaga- }rtÜ. karNa naÝkrI hoca ek Qyaoya Asato. barM ga`^jaueT hÜ pya-nt ksalaI
naÝkrI krayacaI ho hI zrlaolao nasatoÊ jaI imaLola tI naÝkrI. maga %yaatunaca maok^inakla MijanaIAr maulagaa
DoTabaosacao kama krtÜ AXaI ]dahrNao idsatat.
ho maaJao mat naahI. pNa ha ivacaar malaa vaogaLa vaaTlaa AaiNa hlavauna gaolaa kI krNyaa saarKo kahIca
naahI mhNauna iXakayacao.
|
Ajjuka
| |
| | Tuesday, August 20, 2002 - 5:13 am: |
|
|
karanyasarakhe kahich nahi mhanun shikat rahayache he kharech bhayankar aahe. yache karan nokari he ekach dhyey aste ase dile aahe ti pan vastusthiti.... but who is to be blamed? aapli manasikata visheshataha marathi manasikata nokari chya palikade jate? mojkya vyavasayik shikshanavar (not eng or med) uttam business karata yeu shakato. kinwa tatsam anek options available aahet kinwa shodhle tar sapadu shakatat pan tyasathi ghyavi lagnari risk ghyayachi mulanchi tayari aste? ti asli tari aaivadilanchi aste? hi vichar karun baghanyasarakhi goshta aahe... aso to vishay ithe nako karan ithla topic vegla aahe.
swatip,
what you said is true I guess. mi 3 varsh education sathi US madhe hote. ani tharavle hote ki tithe rahayche nahi. mi tithe aale ani lagech varshabharat colorado madhe columbine high madhli ti ghatana ghadali. everybody was shocked... bharatat parat jayachya mazya karananmadhe ajun ek bhar padli hoti ki mala mazi mule ithe kadhihi vadhavayacih nahit.
goshti easy milane ha jo tuza mudda aahe to yogya aahe pan tyabarobarach ajun ek mudda aahe, tu bharatat kuthe vadhlis ani kuthlya shalet gelis te mahit nahi..pan education athavun baghitles tar ek lakshat yeil ki aaple education he aajahi fakta pathantaravar aadharit aahe. tumhala swatala vichar karanyachi ani swatacha vichar mandanyachi sandhi, shakyata ani swatantrya kvachit milate... education level var mhanatey. ya pathantarache kaih fayade aahetach pan titkech totehi aahet. mi mazya 12 kay TYBSc paryantachya sarva pariksha 'Ghoka ni Oka' ya tatvavar dilya. where was the challange? education kadhihi challanging vatle nahi. ratal kantalvanya goshti path karane mhanaje abhyas ani te kagadavar utaravane mhanaje pariksha asa maza samaj hota. ani to shalet konihi door karaycha prayatna kela nahi. 10-12 vi sathi navaneet ani guides available hoti tyamadhli model answers pato na pato tashich lihili tar mark milat he satya aahe. kadachit maths ani science chay babtit ya goshti yougyahi hotay tya level paryant pan bhashechi model answers kashi asu shakatat? jithe 16 markanche uttar apekshita aahe kinwa sandarbhasahit spashtikaran aahe kinwa nibandh aahe ashya thikani model answers path karane he kitpat yogya aahe? yathikani ek gamatishir udaharan athavale.. generally sarva marathi shalanmadhun sadharan ek varshaad 'mi kon honar' asa nibandh lihayala ase. mi baki abhyasat aalashi hote tari nibandh lihayala mala avadayache ani maze nibandha vargat vachun bichun dakhavle jat. tar ashya 'mi kon honar' ya vishayavar sarvanni Doc, Engineer, Lawyer, Teacher etc etc goshti lihilya. mazya dokyat tevha dancer vhayache shirlele hote ani nuktech savai madhe Sanjukta Panigrahi che nritya baghitle hote tyamule mala tichyasarakhi dancer vhayache ase mi lihile. sarva vargasamor maza nibandh yahi veli vachun dakhavnyat aala pan tyala ek khup mothi upahasachi zaak hoti. aamachya shikshika chakka khidalat hotya ani vargala sangat hotya ki he bagha kay dive lavle aahet Neerajane... that was humiliating that time, ata mala tya bainhci fakta keevach karavishi vatate. aso.. I think pathantaravaracha bhar is the biggest drawback of our education system. mazi shala sampun mala 13 varshe houn geli tyamule things may have changed now. kahi shala aahet punyat eg.akshar nandan jaya mulanchya sarvangin vadhisathi prayatna karatat pan shalekadun to zala nahi tar parents kadun to vhayala hava. tevha if you are seriously thinking to come back here for kids and their better bringing up you need to sudy our education system closely and make it work for your kids. whatever you odnt find rihgt you will have to give good alternative to that for you kids.
baki je tu mhanates ki better social skills ani itar anke goshit yabaddal tar vaadach nahiye ani ho struggle tar thechetheche la aahech pan kay harakat aahe tyanna sagle easy milale tar as long as tyanna tyahci yogya jaaneev asel. ti janeev karun dene he tuzech kam aahe ani from your post you seem to be very sensitive and balanced mother, you can do it.
mazyavar ajun mulanchya jababdarya nahit mhanun mi barech funde marlet.. untavarun shelya hakanyasarakhe pan if it helps you in anyway.. i will be glad..
|
Wakdya
| |
| | Tuesday, August 20, 2002 - 6:29 am: |
|
|
>>>>marathi manasikata nokari chya palikade jate? <<<<<
jaato kIÊ Ô> banket account ]GaDayacao QaMVacao t 5000 Épyao laagatat minimum
pÜL\yaa ivakayacyaa zrvalyaa t Aaz AaNao ina Épyaat pÜL\yaa hvyaat %yaa marazI laÜkaMnaa jyaaMica pÜro
Amaoirkot Aahot ina ho [qao laKÜptI Aahotʳ baahoÉna 2.50 ikMvaa 3 Épyaalaa Gaoitla pNa tumacyaa kDuna
maa~ pDunaca Baava hvaa´ sorry ivaYayaaMtr hÜto AahoÊ pNa karanyasarakhe kahich nahi mhanun shikat rahayache hI Aamacyaakrta tr prmaavaQaIcaI chain AahoÊ hÜtI
kÜNa kuNaavar blame krNaar Æ %yaa poxaa naiXabaavar hvaalaa zovaNao hoca ]<ama naahI kaÆ
maaJyaa mato jar maulao huYaar Asaitla tr iktIhI ha doXa Aamacaa AsalaaÊ ha samaaja Aamacaa Asalaa tirhI
[qao yaovau nayao karNa [qao huYaarIlaa ksalaIca ikMmatÊ Épyaat kaya ikMvaa Aadrat kayaÊ naahIÊ jjat
naahIÊ mhNatat naaÊ duÉna DÜMgar saajaroÊ kXaalaa Aapaplyaa pÜrabaaLaMnaa yaa BaumaIt prt AaNataÆ maaÔ
kra maMDLI pNa maaJao ivacaar ho Asao Aahot
|
Wakdya
| |
| | Tuesday, August 20, 2002 - 6:55 am: |
|
|
svaaitÊ tumacaI ADcaNa samajato.. pNa..
Asao Aaho kI prdoXaat jaayacao dÜna hotU Asau XaktatÊ ek mhNajao kovaL pOsaaÊ iXaxaNa kmaavaNao ina punha
Baartat yaoNao ikMvaa puNa-tyaa prdoXaat sqaaiyak hÜNaoÊ tumhI kÜNa%yaa hotunao gaolaa hÜta yaavarca tumacyaa
prt yaoNyaacyaa inaNa-yaatlaa kizNapNaa AvalaMbauna Asaola.
maI ekca saaMgaonaÊ jar Barpur pOsaa gaaizXaI Asaola trca yaayacao dearing kraÊ karNa hllaI hllaI [qao Ô> pOXaacaIca BaaYaa samajalaI jaato
kTU Asalao trI ho sa%ya Aaho
|
Thanks everyone for your input on this matter.
Mi 5 varshaanpurvi US la aale te malaa ani maajhya navryaalaa ekdam nokri milaali, so I didn't have to go thru the usual wife comes on H4 then studies and gets H1 etc etc... tevhaa asaach vichaar kelaa, ki this would be a nice opportunity to earn some good money, and then we would go back after our first 3 yrs of H1 expired. Tevhaa tar Green Card chyaa fandaathi padaayche naahi asa nirnay ghetlaa hotaa.... but things changed eventually.... jase jase ithe rulat gelo tase tase India ani US madhalaa "style of living, conforts, luxury" hyaachaa farak janvat gelaa, and we just continued to stay. GC pan jhaale, tax savings saathi ghar pan jhaale, nokri stable aahe, in this period of uncertainty and crumpling economy, stability is a very imp factor (esp for Marathi folks, who I agree w/Ajjuka are not very business oriented).... so all in all, sadhyache life kharach vyavastheeth chaalu aahe, parat Indiat jaaun, shullak goshtinsaathi vaad ghalne, paise charne, manastaap karun ghene, hyaa sarvaachaa vichaarhi karvat naahi....
But even then... jyaa paristithitun, jyaa surroundings madhe mi vadhale, those were very healthy, very competetive. Vargaat pahile yene kinvaa pahilyaa 5 yene hyaasaathi ghokampatti ...sakaali 4 vajataa uthun abhyaas, the disappointments, the overoaded school bags, teachers cha maar, punishments, ghari aai-babanchaa dhaak ... all these things have made me and my husband what we are today. It is true ki mula hushaar asateel tar kuthehi chamakteel ho! Pan hushaari is not all that is required to shine. The surrounding atmosphere should be equally conducive too! "Sangat" hi ek faar mahatvaachi payari aahe... vait sangat lagali tar ekapekshaa ek hushaar mule vaayaa jaataat... he mi ithe pratyaksha pahile aahe.
Ani apan ji ghokampatti mhanato, that is also very important to help enhance our memory power... ithe baghaa Computer. calculator shivay hyaa poranna ganitach jamat naahi... Log tables kaay he mahit pan naahi!!!!
Other alternative is to bring the grandparents over... te changle sankaar, valan lavteel mulanna. Pan is that the right thing to do ??? To expect grandparents to come and live here for teaching our traditions and values to our kids ? Maajhyaa aai-babanche tar saaf mat aahe ki amhich parat yaave. Pan prashna asaa aahe ki parat jaunahi changli nokri milele yaachi kaay guarantee...
I am in a serious dilema, just can't decide what to do. I am sure many parents who have small children are in my boat too. There must have been a point when they made the decision to stay back (which is the 90% case) and accept that their children will grow up to learn American values, traditions (more or less), or who went back bearing in mind that the luxuries they had here, they will probably not get back home. So how did they come to this decision.... Jayache tar mule lahaan asataanaach gele paahije, once they turn older, the kids themselves refuse to leave the US! Tough decision, I understand each one has to take it on their own, but some thoughts are appreciated .
|
maza ek mitra 4 varsha UK madhe rahat hota. to gelya varshi kayamcha parat gela ani atishay majet ahe. UK madhe astana bharpur paise kamavun gela. tyamule tikade jaun ata ghar, car ghetli ahe. officela jayla yayla tras nahi. its true ki traffic jam vagaire asto. pradushan aste. pan jithe tumhi 20 25 varsha kadhali hoti tithech tumhala 4 varshaat rahata yet nahi asa hona mala patat nahi. its all in mind.
>>shullak goshtinsaathi vaad ghalne, paise charne, manastaap karun ghene,
ithe tyachi agadich garaj padat nahi mhanun apalyala he janavte. pan khara pahila tar kahi agadi pratyek kamatach vaad ghalava, paise charave lagatatach asa nahi. setup vayla vel dyava lagato. ani pratyekachi savay hou dyaylahi kahi vel dyava lagato. tya kalavadhit jar tumhi US madhe asa kahi navta, asach mhanat baslat tar u will never be at ease.
tithehi goshti sudharat ahetach.
(SBI ya mahan gogalgaay bankemadhe mala 2 varshanpurvi DD kadhayla 3 khidkya, 45 min firav lagla hota ani sandhyakali parat DD ghyayla java lagla hota, magchya varshi 15 min, ekach khidki, khidkivarun na halata DD hatat ala..)
tya mitrala ata asa ajibat vatat nahi ki ka parat alo. to mhanato life ekdam masta chalu ahe. of course, pahila setup karayla bharpur paise kamavun gelela bara.
maza ajun ek mitra parat chalala ahe. after 4 yrs here. tyanehi asach setup kela ahe. tyala changli nokari dekhil tikade milali ahe. tehi gharapasun 10 km var. he has a daughter for whom he decided to go back. and I am sure he wont think that he did wrong thing. mi tar tyala kadhihi bharatatil goshtinna shivya ghalatanahi pahila nahiye. ki tithe he nahi tithe te nahi, ani ithe sagla ahe etc.
everything is in mind. you have to be firm on it that you want to live in India. and never ever compare how thing are here and how things are there.
Swati, mi tula 2 pratyaksha udaharana dili instead of just my thoughts. karan tya goshtimadhun mi gelo naslyane mazahi untavarun shelya haknyasarkhach asel kadachit.
shalemadhil ghokampatti bolaycha tar ashi kiti hoti karayla? padhe hech main hote. te far tar 4 thi paryant astil. mag facta sanskrutche shabda path karayla lagayche tevdhach. baki kahi mi kadhi path kelyach mala athvat nahi. ani tevdha pathantar asavach. agdich pahilyapasun calci hatat asnyapeksha nakkich changla. aso. he vishayantar ahe. so enough.
|
Swati2
| |
| | Tuesday, August 20, 2002 - 2:34 pm: |
|
|
Swati
>>jyaa paristithitun, jyaa surroundings madhe mi vadhale, those were very healthy
What you are describe as healthy is not at all healthy.
Every kid is unique and has potential. but in Indian school system where 'Ghoka ani Oka' means studying many kids suffer. They constantly face humiliation at home and at school. For many kids Unit tests bring nightmares. Overloaded book bag and physical punishment - is that what you call healthy?
I have 7 yr old son. He knows much more than his cousins in India know. He is not afraid of his teachers. His homework assignments are fun filled but at the same time challanging.
Peer pressure is something every parent will have to worry about. No matter where you live.
Same thing about values. I don't understand when people say they want to raise morally strong kids and then shell out big bucks for school admission, utility connections and what not in India.
>>US madhe everything comes easily to everyone right from childhood... tyamule dhadpadun ekhadi goshta milavne ani ti milaali ki tyaachi kimmat kalne... haa prakaar faarach kami.
When we talk about comfortable life in USA, this lifestyle comes due to hard work. American kids take jobs to support their life style. In fact Indian kids get it too easy.
Returning to India is a personal choice but if you are going to make that choice only for kids, think carefully. If you are not going to be happy after returning to India don't do it because most important thing kids need is emotional security and happy home.
|
Yogibear
| |
| | Tuesday, August 20, 2002 - 2:46 pm: |
|
|
Swati2: tu mhantes tya pramane bharatiya padhdhati is not perfect but certainly ti nakkich "takau" naahi aahe. The best results can be seen today all over the world when Indian ppl (ppl who have spent there childhood in india) have excelled in many different categories all across world showing their better performance over american kids.....I guess we cannot deny that! On the other hand every society had bad points to it....
American values baddal ter kahi sangaylaach nako.....varshatun ek divas "Thx giving" mhanun sajra karaycha aani aai wadlanna "thx" mhanun gifts dyaychya hyaala values mhantaat kaa?
No doubt Indian system is not perfect and neither do american system....but in different ways both r having competitive adv and one has to choose which way to go.....u cannot get good from both the worlds...isnt it?
|
Prafull
| |
| | Tuesday, August 20, 2002 - 3:13 pm: |
|
|
One thing I want to mention is whatever Swati remembers about indian schools and good environment etc was 15 years back. Indian schools and kids have changed dramatically in last 10 years. MTV culture is a part of india now and is going to stay. If people think that their kid who is in 5th standard is soooo innocent then think again. He/She might be having a GF/BF in school. If someone doesnt believe it then Its fine. You are going thru something called as "generation gap". We always think about generation gap between us and our paranets but most of the times we forget to address generation gap between us and our kids. Sorry guys but we are getting old 
Bottomline is risk factor is almost the same and if one can't guarentee good "sangat" in US then there is no way one can guarentee it in India.
|
Jnikhil
| |
| | Tuesday, August 20, 2002 - 3:14 pm: |
|
|
hi all
ha vishay farach sensetive aahe aani mi aajun tari ha prashna padayachya far lamb aahe. tarihi mi jevha jevha pudhacaha wichar karato tevha mala fakta ekach uttar milata te mhanaje mala parat jayachay ya deshatun. savya ne sangitaleli don udaharane mala patali. aapun dur weli mhanato bharatat asech aahe tasech aahe, pun ya goshticha aapun kadhi wichar karato ka ki he sagala hou naye mhanun aapun kai kela? aapun dur weli sagalya mujorila wakat gelo modat gelo. maza asa tham mhanana aahe ki je loka ithe yeun ithali system baghtat, tyache fayade je samajun gheu shakatat, te loka jur parat gele deshat tar tya sagalya goshti implement karaycha prayatna ka nahi karat? ya babtichach famous udaharan dila jata ki americet alywar ekdum gentleman wagnara manus bharatat parat gelyawar rastyawar thunkyala lagato. asa ka? shevati sanskar he aai vadilanich ghadavayache asatat mulanwar. asahi kahi nahi ki mulana kahi karayala nasate mhanun ti shikat rahata. mi swata shikshanashivay bharech udyog kele aahet. Maza eka mitra 10 board madhe aala, engineering la gela pun tya nantarahi to bandminton chya national level competition madhe bhag ghet rahila. tyacha khara sarwangin vikas zala aani tyakarata mainly aai vadil jababdar asatat. aaplya mulala fakta pustaki kida banavyacha ka itar goshti shikawayacha ha khara tar palakancha nirnay aahe. Obviously te sagalyanach jamata asa nahi karan deshat mukkhya bhar shikshanawar dila jato anai te jar nit sambhalala jat asel tar bakichya goshtina wel dila jato. Arthat ithe tasa nahi aani sagalya goshtinwar bhar dila jato. tar mmug bdeshat tasa ka nahi hou shakat. americet suddha kahi swargatun yeun padlela nahiye sagala. ithalyach lokani te sarva pratyakshat aanala aahe. tasa asel tar aapali pidhi ka nahi thodasa dan deu shakat?
mi mazya univ madhe indian undergrads aani ABCD pahato. te dhad american nastat dhad indian nastat. amricans chi kam karnyachi vrutti, deshprem sodun tyanche party karanyache marganchi tyana jast mahiti asate. Evevn americans suddha tyana accept karu shakat nahit.
so mazyakarata tari ha nirnay aahe ki mulana tari bharatatch vadhavave. kiman jo paryant tyana tyancha wichar karnyachi buddhi yet nahi to parynat tari.........
|
Swati2
| |
| | Tuesday, August 20, 2002 - 4:35 pm: |
|
|
yogi when you are talking about Indian people excelling you are talking abut cream layer. but what about average kid. I thrived in indian school system but at the same time can not forget my friends who suffered. They also had potential which was never nurtured. Instead of apreciating their stengths teachers and parents focused on -ves. It was sad.
About american values:
Here in USA I never lived in City so don't know about it. But here in small Indiana towns people take pride in Hoosier family values. They worry about their kids and aging parents the same way we do. grand parents take care of grand kids while parents work. My husband has friends who worry about their 80yr old granny who is not ready give up her driving. Sunday brunch at grandpa's place is common so are teens doing chores for aging gradparents. Yes their are teenage pregnacies, divorces
but american just don't have any family values is not true.
|
Keya
| |
| | Tuesday, August 20, 2002 - 4:40 pm: |
|
|
svaatI2
tuJyaa ]laT maaJaa AnauBava Aaho. [qalyaa ³AmaorIkna´ maulaaMnaa saaQaa jagaacaa nakaXaa vaacata yaot
naahI. %yaaMcya dRYTInao jaga mhNajao AmaorIka. BaartatIla maulao gaiNat va Xaas~ yaa ivaYayaat jaast
huXaar Asatat. pNa %yaaca vaoLosa tU maaMDlaolaa mau_a doiKla barÜbar Aaho kI [qao savaa-MgaINa ivakisatovarÊ
ivaYayaaMvar jaast Bar idlaa jatÜ. XaovaTI maulaaMnaa kuzo vaaZvaayacao ha vaOyai>k p`Xna Aaho. itqalao
AaiNa [qalaohI fayado va tÜTo Aahot. tovha kuzlyaahI doXaatlyaa pQd\tIMnaa naavao zovaNao cauk Aaho Asao
malaa vaaTto.
|
Ocean
| |
| | Tuesday, August 20, 2002 - 5:20 pm: |
|
|
Yes, aplyake analytical skills la jasta mahatva aaste tyamule apan technical stuff madhe jasta excel hoto, je ithe kami padate, ithe team work, overall presentation skills la jasta mahatva aahe tyamule ithali mule I think, we think vaigere barich lahan aastana mhanu lagtat. aata aplya deshat mulana vadhavnache faide mhaneje te ABCD honar nahit ji jasta bhiti vavate, aaplya bhasevar prabhutva rahane paryayane tumchyat communication khoop javalche rahnyachi shakyata aahe aase vatate. fayade tasech tothe pan khoop aahet ani jar tar chya gosti aaslyane pratekane aaplya kay have tya pramane nirnaye ghyava aase vatate. ithe rahanar aasal tar mulana saral american hovu dyave.
|
Yogibear
| |
| | Tuesday, August 20, 2002 - 5:23 pm: |
|
|
"ithe rahanar aasal tar mulana saral american hovu dyave" <<< ithe rahun tyanna american culture paasun dur thevtaach yenaar naahi.....aani kadachit mhanunach tyanchi ABCD sarkhi gat hot asaavi.....
|
Asami
| |
| | Tuesday, August 20, 2002 - 5:32 pm: |
|
|
aani kadachit mhanunach tyanchi ABCD sarkhi gat hot asaavi.....
>> Lets put it other way round. We call them ABCD because we see them behaving like americans and we (as in their parents, other first generation indians etc) expect them to follow indian values,customs,culture etc.
|
Mi sagalyanche mudde vachale ani bareech mate malaa patali.
But the question is not abt blaming/critisizing USA or India. The point is, which way should Indian parents living in the US with small kids go with regards to the future of their kids ? Whether a 2 year old will turn out to be brilliant in studies or not is a question which can be answered only by time. But we, as parents strive to provide the best for our kids, at least in our generation... when I was small, the awareness was not as much as it is today, so the way I was brought up, is probably the most common way most everyone on HG was brought up. At that point, I used to curse the system, the Unit Tests, overloaded school bags, punishments, the darara of teachers and parents.... when I was abt 16 / 17 years of age, I would think to myself, I will never allow my kids to grow like I did, I will let them have their freedom blah blah blah...
But now that I am a mother myself, I think back and realize that no matter how torturous/strict our education system was, it was probably one of the best.
It has not only taught me to be strong morally, but also got me the well paid job that I have in the US today. Agreed ki education war aplyakade faarach jor dila jaato.
Pan isn't that the safest bet ? We Marathi people are not made to take risks... ataa udyaa majhaa mulagaa malaa yeun mhanaalaa ki I want to become a painter or
a singer... I will have to worry and for that matter anyone else with kids will also worry I think. Because these are not professions where you can easily set up a living with.There are a lot of risks involved with extra curricular activities, not that it is bad, in fact one should develop other skills too. Pan abhyaas sambhaalun... I don't mean that my son should come 1st every time, but he should be able to cope up... and I think "COPING UP" is one of the abilities every Indian develops mainly because of the school systems and the so called torturous methods....And the related "dhaak" is also very important.
Ani people on HG are already well educated, tyaamule aplyaa mulanni fakt abhyaas eke abhyaasach kelaa pahije ase mulich vaatnaar naahi... in fact parents of this age will always encourage other activities too... but again, ABHYAAS SAMBHALUN.... Here in the US, studies come secondary... kelaa abhyaas kelaa, nahi kelaa nahi... it doesn't matter. The children don't consider it to be important to study and pass every year because nobody stresses it on them.... Aho shaalet saadhya parikshahi nastaat!!!!!
I know a friend of mine who brings books every year for the equivalent grade from India and makes her son study from them. This way she thinks he son is not losing out on anything... "Sangat" is again a factor which is unpredictable, Prafull mhanaalya pramane kids in 5th grade are probably not innocent anymore, pan as parents we should try and teach them good things and keep a vigilant watch on who their friends are and who they hang around with.
|
Yogibear
| |
| | Tuesday, August 20, 2002 - 5:34 pm: |
|
|
Asami: you are absolutely right.....thats why decision making is crucial since we should be ready to accpet american values once your child is in the teens and may have GF/BF, as well as want to follow american values, separate out from family, live by themselves, etc....
|
Ocean
| |
| | Tuesday, August 20, 2002 - 5:39 pm: |
|
|
ho na, ithe rahayache, aaple dev pojnachi savya lavyachi, pan tyana aapan ganpatila sond ka aaste, devala char hat ka aastat he nit patvun dyave lagte te kitpat tyanchya gali utarte hi sankha aahe, tyamule te tumhala sarkhe cross karat rahanar, ithalya mitrana patvun devu shaknar nahit tyamule te accept hot nahit ki kay aase vatatne, vaigere barich manasik odhatan hote aasel aase janavte.
|
Wakdya
| |
| | Wednesday, August 21, 2002 - 3:23 am: |
|
|
malaa savyaa ina yaÜgaI cao saurvaatIcyaa pÜsT maQalao ivacaar ekdma pTlao
svaatIÊ maI AaQaIca saaMigatlyaa p`maaNao yaa doXaatIla ~uTI sahna krNyaacaI Aaiqa-k naI maanaisak ina
XaairrIk kuvat Asaola t tumacaa prtNyaacaa inaNa-ya vaastvaalaa QaÉna hÜla yaovhDoca navho tr stutIsa
pa~ hÜ[la
|
Anudon
| |
| | Wednesday, August 21, 2002 - 7:16 am: |
|
|
(This is aschig typing as anudon - damn this dumb windows mode)
Swati, if I were you (and I am roughly in a similar position with a 7 year old son) I will not too worry too much about the children growing. They find a way and a niche for themselves. Give the best you can (here or in India) and they will come out as well as they can. They are individuals belonging to the most intelligent species on Earth. So they would know. Have faith in them.
About Indians being better than Americans (at math/science etc). That is just a folly propagating due to statistics. An average Indian may be better than an average american at math and science. But once they reach a certain level (college) going through similar schooling, they are equal. Early education in India may be better (i.e. covers more) but higher education here is much better (partly due to the facilities and connectivity available).
Brain drain is always bad. If you feel, go back for yourself (like I will in a couple of years), but not FOR your children.
|
|
| मायबोली |
|
| चोखंदळ ग्राहक |
|
| महाराष्ट्र धर्म वाढवावा |
|
| व्यक्तिपासून वल्लीपर्यंत |
|
| पांढर्यावरचे काळे |
|
| गावातल्या गावात |
|
| तंत्रलेल्या मंत्रबनात |
|
| आरोह अवरोह |
|
| शुभंकरोती कल्याणम् |
|
| विखुरलेले मोती |
|
|
|
|